The lies that Emily Haney has told you..

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This is a long one.. but important.

So as some of you know, I had NO idea where to go with this blog post. Past, preset, future....turkey? No clue. I thought for a while and came up with this! This is a story that starts waayyyyyyyyy da funk back when. So let me take you on a little journey..don't worry, it will be fun!

Over the course of my life (22.11 years) I have officially lived in 14 houses/apartments. Yeah dude, 14. That is A LOT. I've went to 6 schools (8 including colleges) and have lived in 3 states. BOOM. Talk about commitment problems.. it was born unto me. Ha! This story begins in my second house in the ghetto of Dalton, GA at the ripe old age of maybe.. 4? This is also one of my earliest memories.

But first let me preface this story by telling you that I was raised by a single mother (shout out to momma!). We haven't always had the most perfect relationship by far, but she IS my momma. And I love her dearly. She done a hell of a job at raising me all by her lonesome! Okay sure, sometimes we didn't have power. Sometimes we sat by the stove to get warm and sometimes my only Christmas presents came from the church. Sometimes (most times) we had ramen noodles for dinner.. and guess what? I loved them. I loved ramen noodles for dinner as much as I loved hamburgers for dinner. I didn't know the difference. I got fake dollar general Barbies while the other kids got real ones and I never went on vacations while the other kids did. My mommy and I went to the park instead of the beach or we played in the fountain downtown VS the Niagara.. which I always thought that fountain was THE BOMB! The point here is that I never wanted for anything really. I didn't care or even really notice that I didn't get what other kids did and I didn't go where they went.. my mom provided so much love and support for me in other places that my wanting for monitory things was/is virtually non existant. That still remains true to this day. I could live in an apartment for the rest of my life and drive a shitty Volkswagen and have to budget every Friday for the rest of forever and I would be FINE. So for that.. thanks mom. You da' You da' best. As I have gotten older I value that even more... because I see what money does to people. Some people will NEVER be happy unless they have more than you.. or more than their ex-wife or more than the "new man" in their exes life. That is an awful thing to let determine your happiness. Money is temporary.. here today, gone tomorrow. You shouldn't let something so frail decide the outcome of your eternal happines. Anyway, that is another sermon that I may touch on later AND this paragraph is all kinds of too long.

When I took my mom to NYC as a small thanks for being AWESOME.

Back to the 4 year old Emily story.... So there I am. 4 years old. Wide eyed and grinning. Probably had on some sort of ridiculous leggings and socks on my hands. That was normal attire for me. My mom and I had just walked to the end of the alley that we lived in (told you...super ghetto) to check the mail. This bit of information I was about to spew to my mom had been eating me alive ALL DAY. I just couldn't take it anymore.. I HAD to come clean. So right there, in the middle of the alley... I told on myself like I always did. I look at my mom, all seriousness with tears in my eyes and said "MOM! Remember when I told you I wasn't cheating when we colored those pictures of Rudolph today? Remember how I told you I WAS NOT LOOKING at DJ's Rudolph and I DID NOT color mine all red just because he did? Well mom.. I lied. I did look at his Rudolph and make mine just like his... I'm so sorry momma! I am so so sorry!!".............yes. I was completely heart broken because I had colored my Rudolph solid red solely because the kid in the wheelchair next to me did his that way and I thought it was SO pretty. I was so upset because I had promised mom I didn't do that and she believed me. To you, maybe this isn't a huge deal. "So what Em? You copied his Rudolph." But you don't get it... I had LIED to my mother! I thought I would never be forgiven and I would be forced to live in the cold hard streets alone for the rest of my days. Thankfully what follows isn't half as dramatic as my 4 year old mind made it out to be...

My mom stopped in her tracks, knelt down to get on my 4 year old level and grabbed my hand. Right there under the tall Walnut tree's that shaded my Dog from the sun in the middle of the ghetto ally we lived in she said something that I would hear in my head for the rest of my life. She said "You know that it is important to ALWAYS to tell the truth. Jesus tells us that lying isn't okay. You should always tell the truth. With that being said, honey I still love you. It is a picture of Rudolph and you probably flattered him by copying him. He probably likes you and that is why he told on you. Boys are funny like that. Always doing the opposite of what they should. You will learn that. You will also learn that no matter how hard you try, you will never be perfect.. but you will always have someone that loves you. Now dry those tears up, we have reindeer food to put out. Santa is coming soon and you made the nice list!"

Just like that, it was all fine. With those few words that she said to me that day... everything was right in the world again. Sure, I lied. And yeah... it was wrong. But my mommy STILL loved me. That is why it was okay. My mommy was my best friend and the fact that she still loved me and I was still on the nice list? Pffftt.. life was GREAT.

Now for the part that relates to me now. I still lie. I mean, come on. So do you. Everyone does. I've lied and I have done A LOT of things that I am NOT proud of. Things that have haunted me for years. I have made awful, horrible, bad bad decisions and then paid for them later. I live with the mistakes I have made and I do my best to be a better person today than I was yesterday. But I know that one day.. I will mess up again. I will make a STUPID decision and I will pay for it... that is what life is about.. right? Isn't it about messing up? Falling down, getting back up? I'm rubber, you're glue? Except.. you're not really glue because what you said to me will not always stick to you. It will fall off.. but then it will come back. That my friends is Karma.. and SHE is my friend. :)

I guess what I am trying to say here is I of all people have made some SUPER dumb choices. And I will continue to do so. Short story time.....I won't name any names.. but lets call him "Pant's On Fire". Pant's On Fire recently (within the last month) sent me a Facebook message calling me a liar for something that had ZERO to do with him. He said just about every horrible thing you could say to me in the few messages that we exchanged. I took it, while still defending my innocence and character in as much of a lady like way as possible. I let him vent to me about how horrible of a person I am and I let him get out whatever it was he needed to. I did this for two reasons.. #1 is that I know him. And I know what he has lied about and how awful those lies were. He was lashing out at me for something he THOUGHT that I did... when I knew he had done 13143654321 times worse.. that AND he was also going through a divorce at the time and I know how horrible that is. So if by calling me names is making your day a little better, then you go right ahead my little Pant's On Fire friend. Number 2 reason why I took it is because no matter what he said to me that day, I have heard worse. I have hurt worse. I have been kicked around and drug through worse than he could EVER say to me. And at the end of the day this girl got to curl up in the arms of someone who loved her.. she got to be kissed goodnight and held and told that everything was going to be just fine. And you know what? It was. Everything was fine. And it is fine and I have comfort in the fact of knowing that whatever Pants's On Fire, his friends & family think of me.. it just simply isn't true. And the people that love me, YOU people.. you make it okay. The people that care.

That person that held me that night.. that one that loves me no matter what POF thinks.

Let me end this SUPER long post by saying that no matter what you are going through.. no matter what someone thinks about you or says you did or didn't do. No matter how he makes you feel or what he said to you.. or does to you.. YOU are worth so much more. There ARE people that love you and people that care and it IS going to be okay. I am one of those. If you took the time to read this, I am definitely one of those. Be rubber... let life be glue. Let it roll off of you like snow in Alaska.. don't let other people or things determine your destiny or your happiness. BE RUBBER! BE THE RUBBER!

RUBBER ducky. :)

And your song lyrics for this post because I relate everything to music:

"Sometime's love comes around,

And it knocks you down,

Just get back up with it knocks you down."

I LOVE, LOVE. <3